So, I’m kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.
My husband and I both really want another kid right now. My husband won’t stop telling me that he thinks we’re ready. Yes, he has a great job and everything, but we still have a lot of debt that we haven’t even started paying off and even without another baby, we’ve already started running out of room where we are. I’m not sure how we’d be able to afford another baby, pay for a real rent, and all that. Sure, he can work as much overtime as he needs too starting next month (which is really great money), but he’s not going to be maxed out for five years and he can’t make lead for another year or so. So, I don’t know what to do. I want a baby so bad. So bad I was in tears last night because I want another kid so much. I know there’s no doubt in my mind that we could make it all work out, but here’s the issue. We rent from my parents. We live in a condo they bought and we pay them rent. I’m terrified that if I get pregnant and they don’t agree with my choices (which I know they won’t), I’m scared they’ll kick me out. My mom has already told me that she won’t be happy for us until we’re completely supporting ourselves money wise. Which we are now, but that doesn’t mean that now is a good time in her eyes. She told me that she thinks this time next year would be good, but I don’t want to wait that long. I don’t want to wait another year. I think having another baby around when Abby turns three is perfect! She’d be able to understand what’s going on. She’d be potty trained. She could help me. She would be able to talk more and could tell me what she needs. It would be just perfect. I just don’t want my parents to be disappointed in me. Yes, their opinion and thoughts don’t matter as any one has told me, but I value my relationship with my parents so much. We are so close and we’ve had falling outs before because of my stupid choices. I know they would get over it sooner or later because this is their grandchild (like they got over it with Abigail and now absolutely love her), but that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry. I guess what I’m getting at is, I could give a shit less what my parents think of my choices, but I want to be excited and happy to tell them I’m pregnant. Not scared of what they’ll say or how they’ll react or what that’ll do to our relationship. I know if we wait until next year, they’ll be happy for us and excited. If I get pregnant now like we so badly want too, they’ll be disappointed and I want my parents love and support. This is their grandchild. I hate being stuck like this, but I’m not sure how much longer I can hold off. I want another baby so badly and it makes my heart ache when I see other mom’s who are expecting and I have only one thing standing in my way. If you read this and want to put in your input, please do. I need as many opinions as I can get. I’ve been longing for a baby for quite some time, but as the days, weeks, and months go by, I want one more and more. :(
